I have gathered some current information regarding My Eyes Your Eyes Documentaries for my first all encompassing update of 2017.
The information provided will pick up where my holiday update left off.
My next general update will be shared in the summer of 2017.
My Holiday Update can be found below as a refresher or as a basic overview of background information.

https://purplefountain.wordpress.com/2016/11/27/my-eyes-your-eyes-documentaries-holiday-update/

My current short film collection will wrap up soon. A general overview is below.
My Eyes Your Eyes The Bridge will be a series of short films designed to connect My Eyes Your Eyes and My Eyes Your Eyes II. This short film collection is also helpful to keep my message of equality fresh in the minds of viewers until the debut of My Eyes Your EyesII.
Each short film will have a different theme. I will write all of my own scripts.
Some short films will remain unscripted.
All of these films will be recorded in the very first shot. Some short films will have multiple versions such as music videos and extended versions.
This short film collection was introduced on my blog and via social media In January of 2012.
There have been several videos omitted from this short film collection. I have three films to complete before wrapping up.
The available videos in this short film collection are listed below from oldest to newest.
At least four videos will not be available for purchase or via the Internet. At least one extended version will only be available for purchase.

My next short film collection will launch in early April. The Capsized Eyeball Collection gives me much more creative leeway to use humor and lighthearted irony to describe issues centered around social, economical, political, and disability justice.
There Ar countless possibilities to use any given perceived weakness as an overpowering strength. A positive spin on even the most destructive situations will limit negativity and distractions. The trick is to use logic, order, and linear thinking to dismantle nonsensical, irrelevant, and destructive stereotypes, red herrings, and discrimination.
Each short film in this collection will cover an issue or experience that can paint those of us with disabilities in a negative light. Deconstructing each situation in order to get to the root of the overly emotional reactions to arbitrary events will assist in the process to redirect the conversation to constructive outcomes. Cultivating the seeds in order to explore multiple limitless methods of informative communication and creative expression to foster a multifaceted culture of inclusion, accountability, and warmth.
I named this collection after my very first band that broke up before it was even fully formed. The word ‘capsized’ describes a vessel that has flipped tossing the occupants into deep waters. A play on words used in spirituality as being a ‘vessel’ of light. Utilizing talents and abilities to help the greater good disregarding personal gain. A capsized eyeball is a creative method to describe vision loss. Some survivors of crashes at sea have clung to a capsized vessel until they are rescued. The key to being a productive self-advocate is to know how to rescue yourself. Sometimes we have to help others understand how to help us and to understand how to help one another. We also have to find constructive methods to assist one another during times of deep-rooted systemic aggression directed at self-advocates.
This trend grows when assertive women are mislabeled as aggressive. Those of us with any form of disabilities have already mustered up the patience and perseverance to survive even through countless obstacles in order to succeed in life. Why deliberately pile on even more hardship?
This short film collection will allow me to utilize my four years of peer education and improvisational theater experience. Instead of writing intense skits on social issues I will write comity sketches. I look forward to tying up these loose ends regarding disability rights and disability justice in a method that gives each short film a happy ending.
This short film collection allows me the freedom to pull from my first 4 years of field experience traveling around to schools, churches, and other organizations educating youth on current trends using up-to-date evidence-based research in order to construct proactive solutions.

My “WHISPER” short film collection covering the intersection of people with disabilities and domestic violence survivors will not immediately be released to the Internet.  The WHISPER” collection will be available for purchase on DVD and electronic copy.
I will consider releasing the “WHISPER” short film collection onto the Internet later in 2017.
This particular short film collection is extremely salient as people with disabilities who are survivors of domestic abuse frequently fall through the cracks in a broken system. The likelihood of people with disabilities becoming targets for re-victimization is extremely high. It is vital and absolutely acceptable for people with disabilities to become the leaders to educate their communities on the signs and warnings of domestic violence and other forms of abuse. Educating law enforcement, mental health workers, the courts, disability advocacy organizations, domestic violence shelters and programs, social workers, medical professionals, attorneys, the public, the media, as well as securing funding to support this population is necessary to reduce the likelihood that criminals can intentionally plan to target members of this vulnerable population. This delicate form of education will also assist elected officials to craft legislation to protect this population.

Public film screenings will begin again during the summer of 2017. All location information and collaborations will not be available until the dates for these screenings are released. Each person will be provided snacks included in the price of each ticket.
Each public screening will end in a debriefing session as has been the usual format for any of my film screenings.

My Eyes Your Eyes II is still a thing. This follow-up documentary is still happening. No information will be released until the film is completed.
A direct link to My Eyes Your Eyes is below.

I am building a second professional website for My Eyes Your Eyes Documentaries. My original professional website was on line from 2013-2015. I worked through an International web hosting company and encountered issues making my credit card payment to renew the next 2 years for web hosting, my domain, and my ownership.
I am enjoying the process of learning how to create my website from scratch. The trick has been experimenting with the best Internet browser to use with my differing screen readers. There are also IOS applications that are speeding up my process.

Since January of 2017 I have been working with a consultant in order to formalize My Eyes Your Eyes Documentaries. I am currently in the process of writing my business plan. I am learning so much about myself as a creative artist and a leader.
I have yet to decide the exact model that I will use. Will My Eyes Your Eyes Documentaries become a business? Will My Eyes Your Eyes documentaries become a nonprofit?
I will decide depending on the outcome of several factors.
I plan to go back to graduate school to complete a master of science degree. I hope to finalize my decision regarding my business plan for My Eyes Your Eyes Documentaries before the start of my classes.

My YouTube page has been updated with video descriptions as well as links to social media and the blog.

https://www.youtube.com/ladyindigo217

There are other updates regarding My Eyes Your Eyes Documentaries and social media coming soon.

Several new changes and updates will be announced within my summer update. Some other updates will be periodically disclosed before my summer update.

Please respond with any questions.
I would much rather have people ask me first than have people assume.

Happy Spring!

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There are two contrasting sets of defined hidden social rules that people with and without visual disabilities experience on a daily basis. These hidden social rules are extremely recognizable to those of us with visual disabilities. People without disabilities are usually not aware of these hidden social rules unless they witness the behaviors in action first hand.

The act of assimilating to the visual world as a visually impaired woman is an example of a hidden social rule. Many children who are blind and visually impaired often times are disciplined by teachers, Orientation and mobility instructors, and other school officials to exemplify certain visual behaviors within social environments. These authority figures tend to use a stern tone of voice believing that it will scare the child into compliance. This fear-based tactic of behavior modification does not work on all children who are blind or visually impaired. This tactic can sometimes result in an intentional abuse of power to force the desired outcome. When this tactic is perpetuated in the educational, employment, or social setting among adults it is a form of parent-child communication. Do not think for a second that you look cute, powerful, and respected copycatting this disturbing trend. If you over use your hand than people will suspect you of reading my blog and learning a few bad behaviors to use against me. No, it’s not my issue for posting. If I didn’t blog about this than people would not have the slightest idea that this sort of harassment still happens to adults with disclosed disabilities.

“If you rub your eyes in public than you might not get a date.” “Try to move your head around the room to act as if you can see those around you.” “you should wear sunglasses in public because you will get a job easier if they can’t see your eyes.” “Look down at the paper as you are signing your name so it looks like you can see the paper.” There is a theme in every command. If you don’t comply than there will be a consequence. If you do not behave a certain way than you will lose out on social or professional opportunities.

This if than type of reasoning is a form of circular reasoning and is not valid. A reaction to a specific action is not guaranteed because all of the factors of every situation are not exact or predictable. An objective formula can not be accurately applied to a subjective situation Especially if the same formula is applied to people with disabilities. Each person has their own subjective set of circumstances.

A constructive response to this form of indoctrination is effective when using this circular reasoning in a valid form of reasoning. “I am rubbing my eyes because my eye lids are itchy and I don’t want to scratch myself if I use my nails. I don’t believe that I will lose out on a date for an involuntary bodily function. If they refused to date me for such a superficial reason than I would not wish to take time out of my schedule to go out on a date in the first place.”

Another form of parent child communication that is rampid in and around the blind community is comparing and contrasting blind individuals to one another. It is noticeable that I did not use person first language. Not every single member of the blind community desires to be identified as a person who is blind. Some Blind people per-fur that they are to be addressed as Blind with a capital B. There is no logical argument as to why we can not respect each individuals specific identity. Do not attempt to brand any individual with a visual disability with a label because it is politically correct. It never hurts to ask some one how they wish to be addressed. The Autism community and the Deaf community are two other examples of this cultural trend. Please refrain educating members of the blind community of what we should be labeled as. Many of us do not appreciate being indoctrinated to call our peers people who are blind and visually impaired. That method of person first language in verbal and written communication is not true or valid in all cases. It is deeply troubling when people with sight instruct members of the blind community on socially respectful methods to address one another.

I was taught in college to use person first language. I never used person first language before I was conditioned to rearrange my daily language through the influence of sighted people. Even though I have experienced social and political exclusion as a woman who is visually impaired that doesn’t mean that I still can not self-identify as a visually impaired woman. Instructing me to completely rearrange and reorganize my personal thought patterns to succeed in my field is an example of how my individual identity and my culture is stripped. If I do not comply to these politically correct speech patterns than I could risk losing out on personal and professional opportunities. College students of all backgrounds fear graduating with thousands of dollars of student loan debt and lacking financial security. Many college graduates fear that they will be branded as too controversial at a young age resulting in banishment from their fields of study. Paying off student loan debt while on a fixed income is a harsh reality for some college graduates in the blind community. Sometimes following protocol and refusing to compromise personal or professional values can have reprehensible consequences.

The trend of complete independence at all costs within the blind community is also another form of parent child communication. What is the likelihood that some one with sight would walk into a sighted person’s home and begin scrutinizing their house cleaning skills? How many times does a sighted person tell another sighted person that they should not use certain types of air freshener in their homes? How many times does a sighted person tell another sighted person that they have completely lost their independence for taking a ride with a friend? Where does this compulsive need to constantly evaluate and scrutinize members of the blind community originate? When did sighted people begin inserting themselves into the daily routines of the blind community?

Who would have the audacity to compare two individuals of the same race and their professional and personal accomplishments or abilities?

“Bobbie is so popular on social media. Why does Jimmy lack strength in that area?” They are both college graduates and they are both employed. They are both men who are blind.

Bobbie has extensive family support. He is a member of a well-known church, and he is often irritated that he is compared to Jimmy. Jimmy has family, however, they live out of state. Jimmy commuted to campus in college while Bobbie lived in the dorms. Bobbie did not have to work during college because he had scholarships and financial support. Jimmy had to work to afford his off campus apartment because his social security disability checks did not cover all of his monthly expenses. Jimmy uses an old hand-me-down desk top computer while he saves up for a laptop and smart phone. His phone is a generic flip phone that is so out-of-date that he can not upload his pictures and videos to social media without a spasific cable that is not compatible with his desk top computer. He does not like logging into his personal accounts from public computers. He logs onto the Internet when he is home in the late evenings.

Bobbie received a smart phone for Christmas. He learned how to use the device including Siri and Voice over during his time off. Since he has his smart phone he is able to update his social media accounts frequently regardless of his physical location.

Both Bobbie and Jimmy are extremely close friends. They often times joke around about how they are so similar yet so different. They also express their frustration with people comparing them to one another. They confide to and support one another. Bobbie thought a great solution to the frustrating social dilemma would be to start a support group for the men in the local blind community. Jimmy began a business plan to construct a data base of affordable refurbished products specifically marketed toward the blind community. These men took a common ethical dilemma and found proactive and ethical solutions. Ironically they worked together and respected one another behind the scenes while others on the outside looking in antagonized the men through superficial contemplation.

We are all individuals with different personalities, identities, races, ethnicities, cultures, beliefs, support systems, social economic statuses, religions, and dreams.

Another despicable trend that our community faces is intentional and aggressive shaming and exclusion. To the naive and untrained eye these behaviors are masked as accusations not intended to have an exclusionary reaction, consequences for an arbitrary action, or simple coincidences. “Maybe he was calling some one else a blind bitch.” How many other blind women live in the vicinity? Sometimes impulsive and overly emotional reactions follow a mondain misunderstanding, event or exchange of information. This is why self-advocating, strong support systems, and safety plans are so important. Not every one in any situation is stable enough to live or work around people with disabilities without fixating on their day-to-day actions, words, or interactions. Personal safety takes priority over any professional or social expectations. Document any and all harassment. Keep all written communication. These people are not nearly as powerful as they believe. Often times these baseless accusations and mindless harassment is preparation or retaliation on behalf of some one who is too much of a coward to resolve conflict directly.

My Eyes Your Eyes: The Bridge will be a series of short films designed to connect My Eyes Your Eyes and My Eyes Your Eyes II. My realistic budget for the production of My Eyes Your Eyes II is very thin at this point. So My Eyes Your Eyes: The bridge is a perfect method for my viewers to have some new material from me. It’s also helpful to keep my message of equality fresh until the debut of My Eyes Your EyesII.
Each short film will have a different theme and will feature different people. It is not clear if any of these short films will make the final cut for My Eyes Your Eyes II.
I have to remain creative and resourceful in order to fill in the blanks left by lack of funds. Fundraising has haunted my thoughts for the last year and a half. So at least I can put a decent amount of my energy fundraising for My Eyes Your Eyes II while at the same time educating through raw unedited films. I’ll be directing these and filming these videos. I will not be doing any editing what so ever to give these films as raw a feel as possible.

Back in December of 2008 I wrote out a list of derogatory words that are commonly used to label those of us with visible disabilities. There were around fifty-five words. I thought that it would be productive to share how my experiences have been over the last eight years.
A trend that I noticed is that the adjectives used to label me are no longer centered on my visual impairment. They are more gender based, more focused on my independence, and more sexually based in nature. The terms that do relate to my visual impairment are exactly word-for-word copies of the labels described on my blog post “Words” that I wrote in December of 2008. They are also the exact same labels that I used in the “Handicap Game” seen in “My Eyes Your Eyes” which was a game with braille note cards transcribed in print. The note cards listed all of the labels from my blog post “Words” and assisted viewers to see how casually we throw around harmful labels.
I am able to track the results positive or negative since my original blog provided the framework for my films and my current manuscript. These copy-cat attacks began only weeks after “My Eyes Your Eyes” debuted in the summer of 2010. The ironic aspect of this strange occurrence is that I did not release my film onto the Internet until April of 2011. The intensity of the copycat harassment began after my documentary gained traction through social media, however, the Internet trolls did not begin the overt pattern of harassment.
The interesting comparison that people use as an excuse for their behavior is that celebrities sign away their right to privacy by choosing a career in the public eye. The issue is that my main profession is not as a film director. I am a private citizen. I do have a constitutional right to privacy. I am not a celebrity. My documentary films are a professional side project. I have no degree in film. I have considered attaining a degree after my current graduate degree. I decided to make film studies a goal after several unpleasant interactions with aspiring film directors with degrees who have harassed me because of my success. I have no film degree; however, I learned my art through experience and consulting with other filmmakers. A professional film degree will give me even more experience when working with those with academic degrees. Any extra degree could not hurt my success. This is an example of how I allow my haters to be my motivators. My closest film training is in radio promotions and improvisational theater.
Essentially I am a private citizen frequently harassed for standing up for my constitutional rights through creative expression. It is not my issue if certain people view my documentary films and take a personal interest in me. It is my concern if I am experiencing harassment or retaliation over mundane and arbrotrary actions due to my disability rights work. It is my concern if I am being threatened, harassed, retaliated against, or mobbed because of my accomplishments as a result of my disability rights work. It is my concern if Internet trolls take their harassment into my community. It is my concern if these people believe that they can say anything that they want to about me believing that I won’t post it to the Internet. As if the Internet is the be all end all and not the police, courts, or the laws protecting those of us with disabilities. It is my concern when a simple trip to the store or to wash clothing turns into a commentating session on whether or not I am a prostitute. It is my concern if a piece of information disclosed to one person in a direct message is already being spread through word of mouth. It is my concern if people are attempting to harm me either personally or professionally through applying the tactic of labeling me strictly through perfect English dictionary terms. It is damning that people believe that my identity will be re-written through tone of voice, false labels, or positive and negative affirmation.
I do not associate emotional proclamations or verbal attacks with vocabulary. My thoughts, ideas, and even my dreams are in visual images. I think in numbers, colors are associated with meanings of words, and all of my thoughts are not in English. My actual psyche has remained protected. Since my professional point of view has been applied to my personal point of view my sense of self is guarded. I constantly have to re-invent new methods of creative expression. I have had to recognize that certain people who view my documentaries extend their arguments against my films and other projects to in-fighting or attacks directed at me as a person. Choosing what information I disclose is a high priority and even spoofing files has been a priority in order to track who is accessing what. I have had people illegally recording conversations by standing outside of my home. I have been accused of being a republican even though I planned to work on the 2016 democratic elections. I donate money in order to support Democrats and I’ve worked on several Democratic campaigns. I have turned down jobs because of the backlash, however, I have made a firm decision never to back out of a paid position to prevent backlash. Take the backlash with the pay check. I have a lively hood just as any other American. If I am frequently accused of so called moral actions or crimes than I will defend myself should it ever become more than a hear say issue.
Justifying my everyday actions is not a priority outside of documenting reactions to my disability rights work. I will not allow any backlash as a result of my disability rights work to hinder my growth as a person. Accomplishing my goals and doing my personal best keeps my focus on competing with myself. Sometimes my mentality of accepting people at face-value can cause me not to recognize the absurd levels of manipulation or attempts to modify my behavior. I will not comply to those who intentionally insert themselves into my life in order to intentionally jeopardize my professional work. Attempts to psycho analyze me through my social media or through my writing-style will not prevent me from communicating my experiences through my professional or personal style of creative expression.
My blog post titled “Words” can be found by following the link below.

http://my-eyes-your-eyes-documentaries.blogspot.com/2008/12/words.html

My blog post describing “The Handicap Game” seen in “My Eyes Your Eyes” can be found below.

http://my-eyes-your-eyes-documentaries.blogspot.com/2009/06/handicap-game.html

My short film labeled that describes the process of healing from verbal aggression can be found below. This gives an extremely brief overview to reject the negativity associated with intentionally labeling people with disabilities who are literal thinkers. I used myself as an example to reduce the likelihood that Autistic people or people who have other sensory disorders would be targeted with literal and direct attempts at verbal aggression.
My writing tends to be more literal due to the nature of my field. I am much more comfortable with expressing my thoughts through creative writing.


My most recent short film is below. This unscripted film goes into more detail hitting on several points briefly described in this essay.

My blog post written during the summer of 2009 describing “The Handicap Game” seen in “My Eyes Your Eyes” can be found below.

http://my-eyes-your-eyes-documentaries.blogspot.com/2009/06/handicap-game.html

High functioning, low functioning, independent, dependent, positive, negative, demanding, or pleasant are just a few of the polarizing terms used to describe those of us living with disclosed disabilities. These adjectives are extremely generalized, stereotypical, and, discriminatory. This trend of policing those of us with disclosed disabilities through overt overreach and the predatory use of the English language is a far cry from the progressive worldview that we have regarding ourselves.
Self-advocating is the new normal for those of us with disabilities. Advocating for one another is the new normal. Self-education is the new normal. Branding our population with unprovable, unrealistic, or irrelevant labels is not our version of normal. Inserting baseless, unfounded, or disablist labels onto our population is not our normal. When did people who do not identify as disabled have more rights over our disabilities than we have? Never!
Regardless of how well we function in society people will always have a negative or demonizing comment to voice. In some cases people are looking for arguments to make even if they have to infringe on our right to privacy to do so. Tiny conflicts are blown out of proportion, outright lies are told based on extremely small amounts of situational information, and there is a constant apathetic carnal desire to commentate on the lives of private citizens living with disabilities.
There is an overarching need to mislabel and over label those of us with disabilities. It is difficult enough to adapt and accommodate for one disability let alone multiple disabilities. In my case the closer and closer that I come to completing graduate school, securing a clean credit report, and choosing my long-term professional field the more outright lies are spread. The more my privacy is infringed upon and the more people believe that they can paint me as every aspect of my identity that I will not embrace.
Even if my monthly expenses are paid for on time in full by me people invent new and even more creative accusations. Even if I have a pattern of strong money management skills documented over several years’ people attempt to invent new and even more unbelievable accusations. These accusers believe that they can silence me from creating more documentaries. They believe that people will begin to wonder about why they are accusing me of either legal or moral crimes that I did not commit. The saving-grace is that since I am logical and my life is in order than I can easily squash their childish need to reinvent more lies after each lie is proven to be a lie. If I was actually committing crimes than the police would have to gather evidence before filing charges. Since there is no crime than there is no evidence. It does not matter how many times the same old accusations are recycled. If the police are watching me than I am safe from any farther crimes against me. If these people actually are so deep in their fantasy world that they believe that I can be charged based on a false police report than I can press charges against my accusers for attempting to tarnish my clean criminal record. The fact of the matter is that there are people of all backgrounds walking the exact same streets as I do. I can be passing people with criminal records, drug addictions, or women issues just on a trip to the grocery store. I do not know their history just as they do not know mine. I am able to pin point these baseless accusations to retaliation, ease dropping, or people who simply have nothing better to do with their day.
The fact that some one can type my name into a search engine and pull up all of my documentaries, awards, media coverage, or my photos does cause a significant amount of animosity toward me. I spoke to someone regarding the crime that I have been so diligently accused of since November of 2016 and it is only a misdemeanor under Michigan law. That only makes the lies, elaborate stories, and useless attempts to defame me even more laughable. It is simply one more battle wound and a clear method to evaluate how much value American society gives to women with physical disabilities who are also disability rights advocates.
I will not write about any of these inventive, creative, or baseless accusations within the context of these blog updates again after today. I do not want to give these people a way to relive their antagonistic ways. I will simply disclose that it appears to be a method to create distraction and inaction. It is a tactic to torment and devalue each accomplishment. I have taken control of their lies by acknowledging them to a certain extent; however, many people in my life will not know that the informal accusations have been made against me if I do not mention them. If anyone is recording my actions in private locations in order to fabricate their accusations than they are at fault. Anyone can pull up my first film and after viewing “The Handicap Game” choose to regurgitate a list of derogatory labels that I wrote over eight years ago. Anyone can mistakenly conclude that those words will hurt me personally even though I wrote a general list of derogatory and disablist labels used against those of us with disabilities. Anyone can construct circular arguments against my documentaries believing that I will give up on my disability rights work, give up on my professional field, or give up on my education. Anyone can believe that the sky is purple, however, that does not mean that the sky is purple. I will never pull my disability rights work off of the Internet. The actions of the extreme few will not override the joy and contentment of the many. I have had to get used to the fact that people view my professional work and draw unrealistic conclusions regarding me as a person. No one has the right to verbally or otherwise catastrophize my every day actions, goals, or professional plans. Those false conclusions will not prevent me from posting certain disability rights work on the Internet and withholding certain work strictly for purchase.
I have released 2 short films in The Bridge collection since September of 2016. I have recorded several films in that collection; however, 2 films have been released to the Internet. This is all a tactic to force me to stop releasing films. This is a tactic to gain information that they cannot access by law, and it is a tactic to compulsively fixate on me as a person. This will be the last day that I take time out of my regularly scheduled blog posts to entertain such nonsense. I will not give these fanatic gossipers and emotionally unstable people anymore of my time and energy. I have my life to adapt and accommodate for. No one will be permitted to gain gratification from believing that they have the ability to influence my writing, my social media, or my day-to-day actions.

As the holidays are upon us and 2016 comes to a close I have written my end of the year holiday letter. This update is extremely content heavy, however, this update only comes around once per year. This is the most effective method to keep all of my professional and personal connections up-to-date on my disability rights related work.

The following information and links will serve to keep every one in the loop regarding my documentaries, my short film collections, my manuscript, and all other projects related to my disability rights work.

My current manuscript describes my experiences before, during, and after directing my films. I explore the similarities and differences in my personal and professional lives since beginning my disability rights work in June of 2008. This manuscript allows me to give readers a first-hand perspective of a female film director who is visually impaired. I have the freedom to describe my experiences using creative nonfiction.

I am extremely particular regarding which publisher that I work with. My book currently has no release date. I want to work with a publisher who gives high priority to manuscripts written by women in diverse populations as well as women who intersect with multiple underrepresented populations. I currently have three people assisting me with the editing process.

My Eyes Your Eyes The Bridge is my first collection of short films designed to connect My Eyes Your Eyes and My eyes Your Eyes II. These films are completed in the first shot and are unedited.

I began writing and directing this collection of films back in 2012. I will wrap up this collection in early 2017.

There are two more short film collections in the works for early 2017. The first is a lighthearted style of scripts. These short films will describe how the results that misinformation and myths can cause people with disabilities to face even more added stressors head on.

The third short film collection will give correct and vital information on the different types of abuse that people with disabilities face each and every day. This collection is written using the strengths-based model of healing. These are solution-based short films designed to assist all who are impacted by this trend of abuse within all walks of society.

“My Eyes Your Eyes Labeled” is a product from the short film collection.

I teamed up with a great friend who is a blind musician for this most recent short film in The Bridge collection. He composed the music track that captured my script in such a beautiful method of creative expression.

Remain thankful, grateful, and filled with joy.

Never give up no matter how many obstacles are in your path.

My Eyes Your Eyes Documentaries: Podcast 1

Introducing the first installment in the My Eyes Your Eyes Documentaries Podcast Series.

Topic A.

Update to My Eyes Your Eyes II.

Topic B.

Update on my current manuscript.

Topic C.

Stress Reduction and Self-Care.

Topic D.

Positive and negative aspects of social media.

This podcast was recorded and edited in March of 2016.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/6nse5me6cgeisvy/My%20Eyes%20Your%20Eyes%20Documentaries%20Podcast%201.mp3?dl=0

Understand Connect Respect is a blog documenting some of my experiences as the first member of my family to attend college, my experiences with religion and spirituality, and my general interactions within the communities that I lived in and visited. This blog also documents several blind folded simulations that I used to include in my anti-oppression workshops and comments from those who went through my simulations.

I no longer believe that these blind folded simulations are an effective educational tool to show how adequately we can succeed as a population. The method has proven to be highly counter productive to showcase our ability to thrive personally and professionally.

My blog was written from the summer of 2008 to the spring of 2011.

http://my-eyes-your-eyes-documentaries.blogspot.com/

Removing The Dis From Ability is a blog written from 2011-2016. This blog documents my experiences in graduate school, romantic relationships, shines a light on the intersection of people who are blind and visually impaired and survivors of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, People with disabilities and survivors of domestic abuse, people with disabilities and the LBGTQ population, my short film collections, the intersection of the educational setting and people with blindness and visual impairments, and several other topics relating to those of us with disabilities.

https://purplefountain.wordpress.com/

“My Eyes Your Eyes” is my first documentary! The film was produced from 2009-2010. The film is 48 minutes long and is filled with interviews and a wealth of information about people who are blind and visually impaired by people who are blind and visually impaired. Several people with sight are also included in the film. A blind folded simulation from the summer of 2009 is also included.

My Eyes Your Eyes Documentaries is the Facebook Fan Page for my films, photos, blog posts, and updates regarding my current manuscript are also shared here.

This is my Twitter page. I do screen my followers.

https://www.twitter.com/nicki_hurley

This is my you tube page where most of my films are posted. Due to several direct, personal, multifaceted, and, deceitful attempts to derail My Eyes Your Eyes II I reserve the right to revoke access to any and all future production dates until the film is completed. I also reserve the right to only show the film at public screenings and only sell the film on DVD for an extended period of time. At this point I do not feel the need to give this film away for free on Youtube since it has been approximately 5 years in the making.

Those who actually have direct contact with me know that I only sold My Eyes Your Eyes on DVD and only screened the film in certain locations for a year before the film was posted to social media.

https://www.youtube.com/ladyindigo217

I hope that you enjoy this time line of projects and events. This time line does not include every project, workshop, film, or public event that I have done, however, it is a very effective sample of my work centered around advocating for disability rights.

There are many more exciting projects on deck for 2017. I will not be able to update every one on my professional goals at this time, however, I know that holding back certain pieces of vital information is best for my current situation.

Respect my boundaries, personal space, privacy, value-system, my right to a comfortable quality of life, and my independence. The animosity that drives the need for vengeful attacks rooted in the desire to get even instead of directly confronting conflict in a constructive method is not my issue to resolve. My responsibility simply extends to the factors of my life that I can control. I can not and I will never be able to control the way that others feel about me.

This toxic trend of verbal aggression, defamation of character, slander, baseless accusations, threats, arguments against disability rights, equality, justice, or creative expression are not mine to own. I will not internalize them or allow them to be apart of my identity.

If I identify as Mexican or Native American than I am Branded as a racist for identifying with my culture. There is a fine line between stepping out of politically correctness and verbal aggression. Double standards as freedom of speech is concerned are frequently applied to my professional work. Any one is entitled to their opinion when reacting to any of my professional projects. That does not mean for a second that I am not entitled to craft my projects to begin with. I am entitled to the same constitutional rights as any one else. If I never created another film in my life than that decision would not prevent those from reacting to my previous films in a destructive way. So giving up is simply not an option for me.

As a self-advocate it is incredibly concerning when people needlessly take ownership over my visual impairment. People who hold values that conflict with my purpose of advocating for disability rights believe that I am littoral, easily brain washed, and do not give me even the basic civil or human rights that we all deserve. I have the right to do any professional creative expression if that is how I choose to self-advocate. Those who accuse me of favoring the disabled population over the non-disabled population simply prove that they do not have a basic understanding of my entire framework or my professional goals.

The more obstacles that I overcome the more resistance I encounter. It does not matter how clear my motives are. It doesn’t matter how many accomplishments that I have in a day, week, month, or year. If certain people have hate in their hearts for those of us with disabilities than their hatred is reflected in their actions toward me as a result of my professional work.

I’m never going to stop and I’m never going to shut my mouth! If some one is so bothered by my documentaries, podcasts, workshops, work ethic, or my educational or professional goals than that’s their problem. It’s not my problem. If people have that much hate in their hearts and they are so fixated with my life that it is impacting their every day functioning than it is time for them to seek professional help. If they are emotionally charged and triggered over mundane events than maybe they need to examine what aspect about me or my work bothers them so much. I will not change my formulas every time some one has a negative feeling or reaction. We are all adults. There is plenty of professional creative expression that I do not care for. I do not make it my mission to destroy a person because I disagree with their artistic professional style.

There is no academic argument that will magically wipe away disableism. If some one states that a chronic systemic trend truly does or does not exist than that does not mean it is a permanent irreversible fact. I continue to create products to promote disability rights and justice not for those who are familiar with my work but for those who are coping with a visual disability, those who have not lost their sight yet, or those who are in the process of grieving their sight loss. Those who appreciate and follow my work are not too easily offended or they would not have continued to follow my work throughout these last eight years. I knew that my journey would be difficult when my first film in the My Eyes Your Eyes Documentaries collection was in pre-production.

I will not give in to those who want nothing less than for me to stop working for equality. The lengths that people will go to prove that I am not high functioning enough or that I am not independent enough are startling. If I was not a known disability rights advocate than no one would be concerned with my level of functioning or independence. No matter how successful I am some one will always find a loose thread to rip at.

It is good enough in my book that those in my inner-circle know the truth. The level of obsird statements and accusations is a blatant example of how uncomfortable assertive women with disabilities can cause people to become. When I am threatened with a tell-all book full of lies as an attempt to destroy my professional work by some one who held such a small place in my life than that is a clear and indisputable example that my films have struck a nerve. I am not a celebrity. I’m a private citizen. Why all of the overkill?

My thought is that if I accomplish too much that any theory of my lack of certain abilities will be disproved. Any time I appear too credible than the Internet trolls attack or the verbal aggression begins. I know I am doing well when I am unnecessarily labeled as a bitch, cunt, slut, or prostitute.

This constant name-calling, and these false accusations are tactics to induce stress and distract me from the more important tasks at hand. The types of detractors who initiate these types of attacks follow the exact same pattern. I move on day-to-day and they are still regurgitating the same tired old accusations six months later. It is no one’s business what types of music I listen to. It is no one’s business what types of foods I eat during which times of the day. It is none of any one’s business who I speak to or how I spend my money. If I am too lenient than I will be walked on and if I am too assertive than I am called a bitch.

Mundane issues are blown out of proportion when people can’t back up their accusations or their arguments with logical facts. The level of absurdity at the root of these accusations is a reflection of the thoughts behind the accusations.

I have been accused of being dishonest regarding my current physical therapy, being dishonest regarding my lactose intolerance, as well as being dishonest regarding withdrawing from graduate school. The issue that is deeply troubling is that mundane medical issues that I chose to disclose should not be up for argument. I have been a strong student throughout my entire life and ironically I have to disclose all of my medical information to medically withdraw in order to transfer to another graduate program. Students who fail out of graduate school do not plan to transfer a 3.5 cumulative grade point average from one honors program to another honors program. I have had to disclose information that I would have much rather have kept to myself. I disclosed more information to my former university than I disclosed to my family or most of my friends. I disclosed this personal information in order to secure my graduate degree and my professional future.

I am strongly aware that detractors read my social media pages to build more arguments against me. I continue to document my experiences for those who truly follow my work out of support or appreciation. Why should I be excluded from leading a normal life for this day and age?

All of the reasonable solutions to take control over the aggression, harassment, accusations, or backhanded snide comments seem to be only giving detractors more arguments against my professional work. The only logical resolution is to create new solutions. Utilize the slander for material for future films, workshops, discussions, professional projects and products. I have changed and re-arranged my social media patterns. I rarely disclose professional goals or tasks until they are completed. Even simple day-to-day accomplishments are documented only after they are completed. I simpley choose not to document certain personal or professional information at all.

If I desired a high social media following than I would have applied simple marketing and branding strategies several years ago. The issue that I kept encountering over and over again was reading destructive comments regarding myself or attacks on my loved-ones. I was so tired of checking social media only to have to remove statuses or delete hurtful comments. I do not believe that all social media traffic is constructive. I still have friends who ask me if it is all right for them to comment publicly on my social media pages. Back in 2011 I instructed loved-ones to contact me through private message so that people did not know who I was communicating with on a day-to-day basis. I have also stopped introducing professional contacts. The more publicly connected that I became than the more conflicts and accusations that I experienced. I no longer documentt every single professional or personal accomplishment. I do not take photos every day nor do I check into every place that I go.

I hoped that my social media pages could be an Internet space for constructive written discussion over social and political justice related subject matter. I did not plan for every fact, opinion, article, or my character or personality to be overanalysed, scrutinized, or horrible motives to be applied to my ordinary or mundane actions.

As I narrated the wall climb seen in “My Eyes Your Eyes” I disclosed that I like to plan. As a woman with a physical disability I have to plan out tasks ahead of schedule to organize my time, energy, money, and resources. I have to plan for the worst case scenario. Apparently the worst case scenario is the constant need to strip me of my culture and identity. My identity as a woman is not the same identity that my visual impairment adds to my personality. If my skills as a documentary film director did not bother some people in Michigan than I would not have been told to take up my issues of discrimination with Michael Moore. I would not have to tolerate jokes made at my expense. I would not have to respond to attacks on my level of functioning relating to my visual impairment or my back injuries. I would not have people attempting to shove me into a polarized stereotypical disableist box.

Once my life-style is tampered with to the extent that I am psycho analyzed through every word that I say or every step that I take than it is time for me to assert my right to privacy, my right to live freely, and my right to interact as the equal member of society who I truly am. I have the right to live wherever I choose to, work wherever I choose to, and plan to accomplish any professional or personal goals that I so desire for myself. Each passing day brings me more successes, more opportunities, and more reasons to be thankful for my accomplishments. I will continue to accomplish my goals and continue to make every dream a reality in order to help others. Any positive reactions that my professional work causes can not logically be worth all of the attempts to steamroll, derail, or destroy me.

eight years ago when I began working on pre-production for My Eyes Your Eyes I had no idea what to expect. I knew that some people would disagree with my stance and I read several examples of that opposition against me. In every written response their seemed to be a strong desire to cut me deep.

I received responses filled with anger, hatred, and deep-seeded hostility. The over arching narrative painted a picture that every one thought that I should not produce my first film. I should prove our ability to succeed as a population through example. I should find a hole and fit into it. One person compared me to a square peg trying to fit into a circle. None of these forceful reactions ever overshadowed all of the support that I had and still have.

My assertive nature was misconstrued as aggressive and abrasive. I also was scrutinized if I was too flexible. It took a couple of years to balance my leadership style and my general approach. Remaining proactive in a reactive world is difficult yet completely possible.

The ironic aspect is that there was never a final revised written copy of the scenes, interviews, locations, or people included in the entire production process at that time. The idea of a woman with a visual impairment directing a documentary seemed so out of touch in 2008. This tiny group of detractors did not persuade me to give up. The incredible aspect of the entire framework of my films is that the more backlash that I have been faced with the smarter I work.

There is absolutely no pre-production, production, or post-production schedule available for my follow up full length film. I am working on 3 more videos for the short film series and one of those short films is the last film in my series and it is 5 films long. It is a series within a series. The short film series rarely has written scripts excluding two scripted films. I am not even releasing the names of any one who works on the production team for My Eyes Your Eyes II. Those interviewed who desire to be named on camera will be able to be if they so choose. I’m giving every one on my production team nicknames for the public. I have already began this process in my short film series.

I have almost no privacy in my own home. Each city and state that I have lived in since releasing My Eyes Your Eyes has a different brand of harassment. I do not discuss several professional projects in my home. I rehearse and record practice videos at home, however, I have an extremely toxic group of people who ease drop on my conversations and my activities. It is ironic that I have a laundry list of accusations raised against me by people who ease drop enough to have a solid set of facts, however, are easily duped by the dialog from television or movies. I have been accused of every act under the sun yet there is no proof because the accusations are unfounded.

I am deeply disturbed and troubled that every single social media update is scrutinized and that my life as a private citizen is fact-checked. This idea that I am supposed to flinch or react emotionally to every unfounded accusation made against me is extremely telling to the underlying disableism alive and well in America today.

I will use some examples to illustrate these experiences.

I started my own business early this month. That is an extremely arbitrary fact. Why would I lie about that? I have no aspirations of giving up my professional love of community organizing, however, some people assume that I no longer plan to organize. I have plans of completing my graduate social work degree. Why would I lie about having a bachelors in social work?

Why do people accuse me of sitting at home doing drugs all day? I refuse to allow a doctor to prescribe narcotic pain killers and I am frequently in a lot of pain from previous injuries. Half of the pills that I take are vitamins and the others are for lactose intolerance, back pain, allergies, and for my muscles. I recently got accused of day-drinking and that was laugh out loud hilarious because I drink water all day long. I have actually had the same bottle of wine sitting in my kitchen since July and I give away all of the wine vouchers I receive in the mail.

I think that it is so pathetic that certain people are flocking around me like vulturous predators attempting to unveil some flaw in my character to exploit. Why are random people hanging around my place of residence attempting to solve some sort of mystery? It is almost like they want some sort of deep dark confession.

I recognize this dark irony that the same community I gave up hours and hours to organize for is now a community where I have to hide my most significant future professional plans. I have plenty of support as well, however, I do not feel comfortable inviting every one over to my apartment because of my lack of privacy. It is unsettling that I have to avoid disclosing future plans because I don’t want any one to attempt to prevent me from succeeding. What gives these people the right to prevent me from accomplishing any goals?

It is so refreshing when I can visit with friends who have known me since high school. It is so freeing to have people remind me of all of my strengths and accomplishments that have remained a strong part of my identity since before I released My Eyes Your Eyes. I have had no choice but to start reporting and documenting this harassment. I had my credit card information stolen and lost $200 just as I was about to leave town to visit family. The credit card never left my purse. There have been several incidences of harassment since then. I’ve had no choice but to file police reports and seek advice as to the best and safest methods to deal with this harassment while attempting to live a productive life.

No matter what I do or how I react some one will always have an opinion. When will people finally realize that no matter what happens I am in this for the long hall? I think that people assume if they harass me each day and call me names than I’ll just give up. That just is never going to happen.

This deeply disturbing behavior toward me only forces me to work three times as harder to accomplish my goals. I play my recorded videos and listen while people stand around accusing me of talking to myself. I spray air freshener to keep our apartment smelling nice and I listen while I’m accused of covering up the smell of drugs. I rehearse my videos on and off film and then I listen to people comment whether the information is true or false. I should not have to avoid working on videos and podcasts in the apartment that I pay for. I go out and purchase products from businesses and have people accuse me of not changing my clothes because I change my t shirt but wear the same hooded sweatshirt for a few days. I sit down to budget at the beginning of each month while being accused of having no income. How come every accusation against me is rooted in attacking my personality or character? Do these antagonize rs really think that if they hurt my reputation that I’ll never make another film? Do they really think I’ll give up on my social and political justice work? Do they really think they will convince me and the world that I’m not a self advocate or an advocate for disability rights?

No one will run me out of any field. That is just laughable. I do have some idea of who they want to paint me as.

A woman who is visually impaired with no income, no independence, no college degree, who is both a drug addict and an alcoholic, who is homeless, and who is not credible. The most ironic aspect of this entire scenario that these accusations are attempting to paint is that even if all of that was true than it does not make the impact that My Eyes Your Eyes has any less relevant. These accusations aimed at re-writing my history, lifestyle, personality, character, and identity will not hinder my success. The only opinion that matters is mine and I will never love myself any less. My worth is not defined by how many people love me or agree with me. There is a healthy level of disagreements. Every one has the right to disagree. A simple disagreement should not cross the boundaries into defamation, defaming, mobbing, or scapegoating.

I think that plenty of people in my professional and personal circles know enough facts to explain situations that even the most vindictive of ease dropping will not.

This has been a fishing expedition to dig up dirt on me. I think that my reality is not all that interesting. I think that all of these accusations and harassment is a simple ploy for information. I think that if people are obsessed and fixating on me so much so that they are commentating on my life than I must have done a significant amount of good along the way.

I think that people simply want to know what bothers me so that they can use that information to prevent me from directing My Eyes Your Eyes II. That is the dirty truth of it all. These people have no way of knowing when and where this film will spring up. Since I’ve changed my entire framework and there is no record of my plans. Arguing with me and name-calling will not make those facts any less true. Retaliating against me or sending friends to get revenge on me won’t make those facts any less true. Spying on my activities won’t make these facts any less true. I’m not afraid of anything or any one. So psycho analyzing me through my social media activity is a complete loss of time and resources.

All of these troubling aspects of this retaliation and backlash have forced me to write a manuscript filled with facts all about myself and my life before, during, and after directing My Eyes Your Eyes. That is exactly the type of response this backlash was not meant to have. They want information that they can use against me. They don’t want their mind games and harassing crimes to give me an entirely new professional path and yet another income. The entire point of this post is to clarify that I will never give up, I will not be discouraged, or stop believing in my abilities. Those who choose to harass me will never render me to silence. Disclosing the harassment gives me the control over the situation.

There has been an entirely new chain of events set into motion since My Eyes Your Eyes. Doors have opened and more importantly dialogs of methods to assist those of us with disabilities have taken shape. There is a sharp defined baseline for conversations and public knowledge where none existed before. All of the strengths that directing films has brought into my life will always outweigh the negativity directed toward me for using creative expression to stand up for myself